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Clarity. Support. Results

January 14, 2013

Within your career – or in life, if you are at a crossroad–seeking to improve or change something…a reminder; we are all interdependent. We best see and know ourselves when reflected, rather than advised. Anyone can advise – think they know what is best for another. It’s easy to say what we think – be seen as the expert, one who knows; but, really, we do not know what is right for others. We have neither lived his or her life, nor have we learned the things or had the experiences he or she has had. No one person has our answer.

To be heard/seen/understood meditation helps, as does working with a professional and proven process. It is the one of the best ways to attain clarity, support, and actual results.

If we choose to ask a friend to do this for us – he or she must be fully present, able to listen well, and…in a quiet setting without distraction. And he or she may share experiences or perception, but, not give us an answer (from his or her own unique experience) regarding what is right. This takes practice – listening without an agenda or preconceived notion of what is right or true.

Of course, there are people who have been there – perhaps with their jobs, a problem with a boss; a challenge within a marriage or at home with young adults. There is wisdom to be shared and gained.

Advising without having lived/walked in his or her shoes can be a true disservice, and although not intended – a poor  way of attempting to support.

We are all all interdependent and need to be seen and understood for who we truly are and what we truly want – that which makes our heart sing and allows prosperity and real confidence to come forth.

– Connie


Centered Grounded Strength

December 8, 2012

200397673-001There was a time when I studied and practiced Tai Chi. It’s been a while; AND, one important and very USEFUL thing which stands out in my mind is a Grounding exercise.

The idea is to bring the attention to the abdominal area, the tan tien
, the area just below the navel…and move the energy or focus away from the head – which is where we generally hold our energy, especially when anxious or stressed. From there, root the feet and self into the ground as if rooted like a tree, with strength and stature.

This grounding technique is some of what is done when the exercise ‘push hands’ is practiced. It is also something we can do when in conversation with another – to be centered and grounded and in turn, have an harmonious conversation and good experience. In addition, I found this article/blog post (below) which shines light on the area of the brain and way of focusing. The information supports and further highlights the practice.

…so worth the read, and The Practice

Let me know what you think.

– Connie

The 4 Words for Love; 4 Types of Love

October 9, 2012

As I learn, I teach; as I teach, I learn ~

Linguistics and cultural anthropology fascinate me, and the fact that other cultures have more than one word for love has me longing for a connection with each one of them. The cultures, that is; and maybe the types of love too. 😉

…seems, we, English speakers have just one word for love. And our culture and that fact, plus, some psychologists and psychiatrists findings have, perhaps, hurt our understanding of love and in turn, our way of loving.

Have we lost an understanding, the real meaning and value of love? Has this affected our ability to love fully and love well?

Having a deeper understanding of love and the types of love, via the Greeks allows us to practice pure love, in all it’s forms.

Here is a find/information leading to a new understanding, or perhaps, a deeper understanding of the many kinds of love.

According the the Greeks there are 4 words/types of love: eros ~ phileo ~ storage ~ ágape.

* Eros love is not just what Freud redefined as sexual love. It is human love and something that pulls us. (Below, find a more complete definition.)
* Phileo love is based on friendship. It is the emotional love of friends. 
* Storge is family love; devotion to one another. It is a friendship of family.
* Ágape love is expressed in action/helping others/serving.

An Important Note on Eros: “The first Greek word for love is eros, e-r-o-s. It simply means friendship, human love. Eros was that little Greek god that used to shoot arrows into the earth to make it fertile. Eros was not something that pushed us to an object. It was something that pulled us, it was attractive. For example, the love of a person, the love of art, the love of philosophy, the love of a good life. All that was eros. And –– then came Freud (who by the way, was a cocaine addict for 10 years, according to a well-respected psychology scholar and others). Freud changed eros into the erotic. Then eros meant sexy. And this then became the modern understanding of love.

The Greeks never intended that that kind of love should so degenerate. And the new erotic love takes the fig-leaf that once used to be put in Greek sculpture over the secret parts of man and woman, and it puts it over the face, so that the person is not loved, but only the experience. You drink the water, you forget the glass. And this is modern love, erotic.”
– Fulton Sheen

I am glad to have researched/learned this and am humbled and now more deeply aware of love, all types of love and the many ways in which to love well.

If anyone of you has information to add or thoughts to share on this subject, please do so, either here or in a direct message ~

With love,

This Morning’s Musings (Taoist Philosophy)

September 27, 2012

“Until one is committed there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back; ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: The moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issue from the decision, raising in one’s favour all manner of unforeseen incidents and assistance, which no one could have dreamt would come [their] way.”

― W.H. Murray

This morning I woke up at 4:30. I’ve been doing that lately. Generally am okay with it. This morning, however, it was a melancholy morning; AND a morning to get back on it, bring back the love/find light within.

Taoists know, there is always a hint of light within the darkness and darkness within the light. And for me, that truth makes room for faith and inner peace. I am certain, we can see anything we wish and either lift up our thoughts and spirit to a positive state of mind, or go into that dark, contemplative place, always to find what we each need.

The poles are always there/present and part of nature. Opposition/polarity is necessary and wonderful and allowing it, being at peace within each pole is the way to harmony. We may choose to go within; for instance, the yin/intuitive or need to bring in yang/the active; and doing so (going into the yin/darkness or light/yang) can lead to a heightened sense of inner peace, balance, joy. Happiness is something each one of us always has––it is always right there, underneath it all, always present.

And so, this quote (above) by W.H. Murray reminds me to get back on it – when there is a state of inertia/lack of movement in a particular/ideal direction, getting back into focus is what really matters – finding that balance within and choosing and committing so that opportunities, joy, benevolence show up and become part of our days.

– Connie Pappas, NYU Certified Coach, Founder at Inspired

Love Lessons, Bernie Siegel, M.D.

September 18, 2012

I truly needed to find this passage today, for a few reasons, personal and professional; hope you also find it useful.
Within my personal life I am continually reminded to act with compassion – to love well and to be understanding and forgiving. When people behave in ways I do not understand or tend to feel hurt by, I try to look further, understand the words and actions from his or her perspective. And I know, when someone is angry or agitated it is a cry for love. Whether or not I am the person to provide just what they need is a question I ask myself, but still, being loving and kindhearted is a gift to ourselves and to all beings. And on the professional side – each client I work with, at one time or another is faced with communication and relationship challenges, and what Bernie Siegel explains (below) is something we can all do to create harmony at work, at home, in life.

“So I began to stop and think when somebody entered the room: If I love this person, how would I behave toward him or her? And, of course, what I found was that the more I acted this way, the more loving and sensitive I became. And the other people are changed by simply being loved; it really becomes easier to love them. With this basic approach, over time I changed myself, my body, my state of health, my relationships, and many other aspects of my life.”
– Bernie Siegel, M.D

Note: The heart’s magnetic fields above the chest are typically 100 to 1,000 times stronger than brain fields above the head. So, feelings are the most powerful force of all.
– C.P.
Below is a form/request to receive emails w/ new posts. – Connie Pappas

The Magic Within My Work

September 12, 2012

One day a client came into the office for a coaching session, a person who had written a excellent book. The book, however, was not attracting a publisher. It was not getting published; no bites, no hints of a possible contract, nothing.

And within, just a 45-minute time-period––my learning about her thinking, considering the creative process and so on, we discussed what might be in the way. Identifying the underlying resistance, we worked to clear it all/removed the blocks––she let it all go and changed her tune…

After becoming clearer and moving from contraction to expansion we focused on the intent and determined the best possible outcome.

And here’s the magic – that very same day, that afternoon, the offer came in – an ideal, generous publishing contract with a leading publisher: the payment, the PR support – all that she desired and envisioned.

And so, knowing we are interdependent – and cannot live in a vacuum; when unsure as to how to proceed, how do you manage things, how do you look further in order to manifest, create, accomplish what you really want? Reflection and stopping to contemplate can help. Collaborating and discovering what is at the heart of it all – the core challenge is the first step.

If and when you are seeking to solve a problem, manage a challenge, make something happen, feel free to visit the site and/or call for a complimentary exploratory conversation.
direct line: 203-820-6599

~ Connie

Renewed Sense of Clarity and Confidence

July 25, 2012

When a person contacts me for coaching he or she is generally at a crossroad, ready to choose and move forward; however, unsure as to what the choice will be. It is my job to collaborate and enter into a focused conversation, a dialogue intended to bring full clarity and in the end, confidence and results.

So many coaches and counselors want to rush to the “what and the how”, rush to get to the answer – what a person is to do, plugging in goals and a strategy prematurely, at the onset.

Creating and moving forward, within a professional or personal life situation is a process and it is an inner process, unique to each person, each individual. Walking alongside to understand and guide as he discovers, not only what is in his heart – but, to assist in the discovery of his truth, strengths and choices is an honor.

Strategizing and planning is one thing – most anyone can come up with a list – or tell someone what they “should” do. Getting to the core challenge and allowing the unfolding of authentic and the best possible outcomes is another. Collaborating to define a true, highly inspired and meaningful intention is where the gold is. That is the way in which to best assist a person to thrive and prosper and live his or her dream.

Human beings are interdependent. There is no way around it. We can each create wonderful things on our own, however, we do not see the depth and truth of matters within a vacuum. Whether or not we acknowledge that clarity has come through an interactive dialogue – a beautiful, mindful exchange – it is certain; we fully understand through the eyes and ears of another. We are validated with reflection and in turn, able to attain full understanding. This sort of collaboration provides the opportunity to go deeper into the truth than one would have otherwise, allowing each person to create what he or she wants. And as he or she uncovers blocks, sees the bigger picture, plus, new opportunities, a greater sense of certitude and confidence may be found.

When I collaborate with people, throughout, my intention is to listen, share useful, pertinent information, and guide and support each person on his or her journey – whether within the professional or personal realm.

Please feel free to call for a free exploratory conversation; in the meantime, wishing everyone a productive and joyful week.

~ Connie Pappas